US President Donald Trump has raised eyebrows by claiming that he knows more about knowing more about everything than anyone else ever has. At a press conference this morning outside the Jeffrey Epstein Memorial Ballroom, Trump made what he called a “very important announcement: Nobody knows more about knowing more about everything than I do. I know everything there is to know about knowing everything and then some.”
Trump added that not only does he know everything there is to know about knowing everything there is to know about everything, but he actually knows even more than that, but rarely talks about it due to modesty.
Trump went on to say that he knows more about physics than physicists, more about medicine than doctors, more about war than generals, more about economics than economists, more about law than lawyers, more about outer space than astronomers, more about dinosaur fossils than paleontologists, and more about teenage pussy than Jeffrey Epstein. “And I know how to grab ’em by it too, better than anybody.”
Pausing briefly to wipe the spittle from his chin, Trump added:
“And last but not least, don’t let me forget: I know more about narcissism than psychiatrists!”
Trump’s personal psychiatrist, Dr. Bandy Lee, could not be reached for comment.
