“A whole civilization will die laughing tonight!”
Read MoreCategory: Satire
FBI Investigating Tucker Carlson for Suspected Disloyalty to Israel
Israeli agent Laura Loomer, who has never been suspected of dual loyalties, says she is the one who turned Carlson in as an American agent.
Read MoreWorld Ending Because Trump Smuggled Red Button Into Psych Ward -Report
Dissociated Press Informed sources report that the world will be ending in a few minutes for reasons that few would have dreamed possible. Earlier today, former US President Donald J. Trump was divested of his office after Vice President J.D. Vance and a majority of Trump’s cabinet declared in writing to Congress that Trump is a narcissist lunatic suffering from…
Read MoreTrump: “Nobody Knows More About Knowing More About Everything Than I Do!”
He knows everything, except how to get the Strait of Hormuz open.
Read MorePete Hegseth Declares Victory
“Strait is open, Shah’s in charge, Iranians disarmed, oil cheap, I’m a genius” Dissociated Press
Read MoreTrump Wants Epstein to Pick Iran’s New Supreme Leader
“If Iran picks a leader who has never raped 13-year-olds in front of Mossad spy cameras, Bibi will force the US back into war in a few years,” Trump explained.
Read MoreMachado Gives Trump Her Nobel Piece-of-Sh*t Prize
“If this sh*t continues, nobody will take the Nobel Piece-of-Sh*t Prize seriously ever again!”
Read MoreTrump: “I Need Greenland! I Absolutely HAVE to Have It!”
“Give me Greenland so I can rub my pudgy little fingers all over her steamy, tropical little tundra mounds!”
Read MorePiers Morgan vs. Nick Fuentes Dust-Up: Succinctness Serum Brings Out the Gist
We watch TV so you don’t have to.
Read MoreTrump Declares War on Drugs
Dissociated Press After pardoning the world’s biggest drug trafficker Juan Orlando Hernandez, President Donald Trump celebrated yesterday by joining Hernandez aboard an Air Force One jet filled with cocaine, heroin, LSD, amphetamines, barbiturates, fentanyl, ecstasy, ketamine supplied by Elon, a thousand cases of Diet Coke, and a half-ton of bufotenine-laden cane toads. The two dopeheads ingested copious quanties of mind-altering…
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