Dissociated Press David “Dadi” Barnea, chief of the Israeli Mossad, has issued a chilling threat to Sen. Ted Cruz in the wake of Cruz’s humiliation on the Tucker Carlson show. During the Carlson interview, Cruz admitted that he knows nothing whatsoever about Iran, and probably couldn’t even find it on a map, but wants to send Americans there to die…
Read More
Dissociated Press An individual posing as the son of the former Shah of Iran, and calling on Iranians to support Israel’s assault on their country, has been exposed as an obscure Venezuelan con-man named Juan Guaidó. Guaidó first surfaced in Caracas in 2019, where he somehow succeeded in convincing rich foreigners that he was the president of Venezuela. After swindling…
Read More
Dissociated Press Billionaire drug addict Elon Musk apologized yesterday to malignant narcissist Donald Trump, saying he “went too far” attacking Trump, and blaming ketamine addiction for his untoward tweets. “That was the ketamine tweeting, not me, saying Trump was in the Epstein files,” Musk explained. “If it weren’t for my drug addiction, I would never say that Trump rapes little…
Read More
Dissociated Press An unidentified pro-genocide Holocaust (TM) survivor was re-incinerated Sunday in Boulder, Colorado by an anti-genocide activist. According to a report from ABC News that is nearly impossible to satirize, the Holocaust (TM) survivor underwent a horrific experience during World War II: He was gassed to death, buried in swamp alongside millions of other bodies, then dug up, cremated,…
Read More
Dissociated Press In an operation hailed by pro-Zionist media as “audacious,” “breathtaking,” and “sensational,” Israel’s intelligence service has outed openly homosexual journalist Glenn Greenwald as homosexual—and then thrown him off a roof for good measure. The operation opened with Unit 8200 posting “Glen Greenwald is gay” on the internet, while real world operatives scribbled the same formula, along with variations…
Read More
Rumble link Bitchute link
Read More
Dissociated Press Former FBI Director James Comey claims he just happened upon yet another cool arrangement of seashells yesterday while innocently walking on the beach, whistling nonchalantly with his thumbs in his swimsuit pockets. Critics charge that the seashells spell out a threatening message. But Comey insists the shells randomly arranged themselves into artistic form due to the action of…
Read More
Guest op-ed for Dissociated Press By Dave Porschenoy, Owner, BarSchlemiel Sports Can you imagine the horrors of a world in which people feel free to make fun of rich, pushy Jews like me? Or, even worse, criticize us for committing gen*cide? Don’t laugh. That world could be coming a lot sooner than you think…unless we all unite to make antisemitism…
Read More
Dissociated Press Thomas Haldenwang, head of Germany’s domestic intelligence service BfV, has been raising eyebrows by appearing in public wearing a tie covered with Stars of David, the Israeli national symbol. Some observers have interpreted Haldenwang’s sartorial chutzpah as a gesture of solidarity with Israel’s “right to rape” movement. But German intelligence sources have now revealed the tie’s real significance:…
Read More
Dissociated Press An Israeli spokesperson has admitted that the Israeli strike on the aid ship Conscience in international waters off Malta was intended to kill the “antisemitic Hamas-adjacent” climate activist Greta Thunberg. At this morning’s IDF press conference, the excitable Sharren Haskel, Israeli Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs, explained that Thunberg was an even worse antisemite than anyone had realized.…
Read More