María Corina Machado, last year’s Nobel Piece-of-Sh*t Prize winner, has given her prize to the man she and others agree is an even bigger piece of sh*t: Donald J. Trump.
At a clandestine meeting in a cramped White House toilet stall Thursday morning, Machado squatted and strained mightily to extract the prize from her back pocket. After finally succeeding, she ceremoniously handed it to Trump, who sniffed it vigorously and promised to treasure and cherish it for the rest of his life.
Meanwhile at a hastily-arranged press conference in Stockholm, Nobel Committee spokesclown Skit Svensson objected to Machado depositing her prize with Trump: “The Nobel Piece-of-Sh*t Prize is non-transferable! It belongs to the piece of sh*t we gave it to, and cannot be excreted, flushed, or otherwise transferred to anyone else, no matter how big a piece of sh*t they may be.”
Anonymous Nobel Committee members were less restrained in their criticism: “This is a seriously sh*tty thing for Machodo to do! If this sh*t continues, nobody will take the Nobel Piece-of-Sh*t Prize seriously ever again!”
Meanwhile in Paris, scatological monarch Père Ubu is reportedly planning to follow in Machado’s footsteps by crowning Trump with feces and formally investing the American president with the august appellation “King Turd.”
