US President Donald Trump has raised eyebrows by accepting Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed Bin Salman’s invitation to Thanksgiving dinner at the Saudi Embassy in Washington, DC. Trump approvingly noted that the 200-pound genetically modified turkey was “yuuuuge,” necessitating the use of a chainsaw rather than a standard carving knife.
As the Saudi leader revved up his chainsaw and started hacking away at the oversized bird, nicknamed “Khashoggi,” Trump quipped: “I wish I could do that to journalists who pester me about Epstein.”
At the after-dinner press conference, a Washington Post reporter timidly raised his hand and asked whether Trump approved of carving up journalists, as well as turkeys, with chainsaws. Bin Salman interrupted Trump, saying he would be happy to answer. The Saudi Crown Prince then donned a Leatherface mask, revved up his chainsaw, and chased the startled journalist around the embassy. The journalist’s dismembered body parts were later transported out of the embassy and taken to a nearby mansion, where the organs were removed and sold to the Israeli embassy, while remaining portions were disposed of by being dissolved in acid or burned in a large oven.
When horrified journalists who had witnessed the dismemberment of their still-living colleague asked Trump whether he condoned Bin Salman’s actions, Trump just shrugged and responded: “Things happen.”
A spokesperson for the Committee to Protect Journalists declined to comment, saying they were too busy ignoring Israel’s murder of hundreds of journalists in Gaza to worry about what Trump and Bin Salman were doing in Washington.
