It landed on the pristine lawn/that no hijacked plane ever hit
Read MoreDropping Goose Bombs on Trump’s Puffed-Up Empty Head
Tag: satire
Trump Renames His Ass “The Ass of America”
Dissociated Press After renaming the Strait of Hormuz “the Strait of Trump,” the Gulf of Mexico “the Gulf of America,” and Lake Ontario “Lake America,” US president Donald Trump announced at a press conference this morning that he is renaming his own ass “the Ass of America.” “This will add YUGE acreage to our land mass,” Trump enthused. “It’s the…
Read MoreTrump “Evacuated” Air Force One Through Waste Tank to Evade Assassins -Reports
A smelly evacuation indeed!
Read MoreHegseth’s “Zombie Army of the Living Dead” Preparing to Invade Iran
Dissociated Press At a White House press conference today, Secretary of War Pete Hegseth announced that the United States is amassing a huge “zombie army of the living dead” to march on Tehran. Hegseth explained that only 18 service members have been rendered completely dead by the hundreds of Iranian missiles that have decimated dozens of US bases, troop concentrations…
Read MoreIsrael Training Crocodiles to Rape Inmates. Ben-Gvir Injured in “Accident.”
What sadistic abomination will those wacky Israelis think of next?
Read MoreLindsey Graham Killed by Exploding Child Android
Dissociated Press Iranian mourners’ calls for revenge were partially answered last night when US Senator Lindsey Graham was killed by an exploding child android. Graham received a package containing what appeared to be a small boy and failed to notice it was postmarked Tehran instead of the customary Tel Aviv. Upon opening it, the bloodthirsty pedophile senator also failed to…
Read MoreIran Trumps Its Enemies With Alien Jellyfish Intel (FFWN with E. Michael Jones)
Is Iran using mind waves and jellyfish drones to defeat the United States and Israel?
Read MoreTrump: Iran Must Spend $300 Billion Reparations Payment on Goyslop
Dissociated Press In the wake of US President Trump’s demand that Iran spend all of its soon-to-be unfrozen money on US agricultural products like soybean oils and high-fructose corn syrup, the White House upped the ante this morning, insisting that his promised $300 reparations payment to Iran could only be used for purchases of goyslop. Trump had earlier insisted that…
Read MoreIran Sweetens the Deal to Placate Trump
The deal couldn’t get any sweeter…but Iranians, generous people, wanted to give something back.
Read MoreEarth Scheduled for Demolition to Make Way for Holocaust Museum
Dissociated Press Following President Trump’s order to release all UFO files “except any files in which my name appears in close proximity to Jeffrey Epstein’s” the Pentagon has declassified a long list of vague reports and blurry images of “spinning discs, glowing orbs and one object shaped like a potato.” Buried deep within the otherwise unremarkable document dump, however, was…
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