Quora Q: Do you agree with the 2024 survey that Christian anti-semitism in Ireland is at “medieval” levels? A: Absolutely! I understand that the Irish have built a huge apartheid wall around Ireland, like Israel’s only bigger, and are using medieval-style catapults to launch Jews at the immigrants swarming toward Irish shores. “Jewish cannonballs” launched from Ireland have been battering…
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Dissociated Press The Trump Administration, at the behest of Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu, has announced that it will “get shitface drunk” before deciding whether to bomb Iran’s nuclear facilities. The unusual decision-making technique, appropriately enough, is an adaptation of the ancient Iranian method, recorded by Herodotus, of debating big decisions twice: once drunk and once sober. Netanyahu, during his recent…
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Dissociated Press In a new project spearheaded by what’s left of the US Commerce, Education, and State Departments, the government is offering foreign tourists and students “a free all-expenses-paid tour of ICE detention facilities” in hopes of attracting them to America. “We’ve taken a huge economic hit from tourist and student cancelations,” explained Dierdre McDogbreath, Undersecretary of Miscellaneous Affairs and…
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Rabbi Schmuckly Slaughterstein of the Anti-Anti-Antidefamation League (AAADL) testified at Congressional Anti-Anti-Antisemitism hearings, saying that it isn’t enough to be against antisemitism, but that everyone needs to go even further and oppose anti-anti-antisemitism.
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Antisemitism Czar and Health and Human Services Director Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. has announced a series of steep, sharp cuts in the HHS workforce.
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Dissociated Press Calling antisemitism a “deadly and virulent pestilence” that is “comparable to history’s most deadly plagues“, Health and Human Services chief Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has declared a public health emergency and announced a “warp speed rollout” of mRNA vaccines. “Antisemitism is worse than bubonic plague, leprosy, anthrax, botulism, and chicken pox all rolled into one,” Kennedy announced at this…
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Dissociated Press US President Donald Trump announced plans to have sex with the wives of several key world leaders in hopes of gaining bargaining leverage over those countries and screwing them out of land, resources, and, above all, money. Trump has been quoted as saying that sex with other men’s wives is “what makes life worth living,” since it gives…
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Dissociated Press In the wake of Israeli media claims that Hamas used a miracle health and beauty potion to make female hostages look pert, vivacious, and just downright gorgeous, thousands of Israeli women have breached the apartheid wall separating Israel from Gaza and are marching toward Hamas headquarters in hopes of being taken hostage. The huge parade of female Zionists…
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Dissociated Press President Trump revoked U.S. Secret Service protection for John R. Bolton yesterday, stripping his former national security adviser of the security detail he had been granted because of threats on his life from Iran, Mr. Bolton said on Tuesday. After withdrawing Bolton’s protection, Trump emailed Iranian Supreme Leader Khamenei a Google Earth image with an arrow pointing to…
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Dissociated Press NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has announced that the Israeli national anthem will kick off the 2025 Super Bowl at the Superdome in New Orleans, Louisiana. Though interpretations of the United States national anthem, The Star-Spangled Banner, have been performed since the first edition of the game in 1967, the NFL’s Board of Directors decided that this year will…
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