By Akhmadijah Masjoud, for the Washington Pooft Dissociated Press In 1998, when I was a 9 year old boy who identified as two girls, my father, the mujuhideen commander Ahmad Shah Masjoud, gathered his gender-confused soldiers in a nightclub of dubious repute in the Pansyjhir Valley of northern Afghanistan. They sat around in dresses and high heels and listened as…
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Dissociated Press Speaking at a press conference near the site of the planned Facebook Temple in Occupied Jerusalem, Facebook Grand Inquisitor Mark Zuckerberg has announced the rollout of a new prayer tool that he hopes will give him exclusive access to God’s private communications: “You’ve got to think big in this business, you’ve got to move fast and break things.…
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https://youtu.be/wLQbuhND0Do Watch the bowdlerized YouTube version of FFWN above, or the full uncensored show HERE By Kevin Barrett, Veterans Today Editor Israel has a problem. A Jewish problem. A very Jewish problem. Israel is having difficulty figuring out who’s Jewish and who isn’t. And that’s a problem. Because it’s important. Those deemed “Jews” get rights, the others get left out.…
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Dissociated Press The British Royal Family disclosed this morning that the late Prince Philip, who passed away last Friday, has already achieved his fondest wish and succeeded in reincarnating as a deadly virus. A statement from Buckingham Palace, issued shortly before noon, said: “It is with great pride and appreciation that Her Majesty the Queen announces the reincarnation of her…
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Dissociated Press Guest op-ed by Jonathan Greenbutt, Anti-Defecation League Anti-Semitism in sports is totally out of control. First, NBA power forward Leonard Myers unknowingly used an obsolete slur while playing a video game. Then the Duxbury Durchgangslagers, a Massachussetts high school football team, got caught calling Nazi plays. Fortunately the coach was fired. He’ll never work in this town again. Nor…
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Which Proves There Is No Such Thing as “Irish Power” Dissociated Press Leonard Meyers, 29-year-old power forward for the Alaska Cool, has been traded to Siberia, where he will clean toilets for a new Russian NBA franchise for five years to atone for shouting an anti-Irish slur while playing a video game. Myers found himself embroiled in controversy earlier this…
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Dissociated Press Five White House advisors who used marijuana in the past, but have given it up in the present and vowed not to partake in the future, have been ignominiously booted from the Biden Administration. Press Secretary Jen Psaki explained: “The President (cough, cough) wants only fully-qualified stoners—people who are truly high on America, and who are smoking weed…
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Dissociated Press A Florida man is in prison, and his grandchildren have been expelled from school, in the wake of the FBI’s first major crackdown on illicit Dr. Seuss books. Benjamin B. Bicklebaum, 73, of Tarpon Springs, Florida was arrested last night after a SWAT team raid uncovered what authorities called “an extremely disturbing collection of extremist literature.” Bicklebaum, who…
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Dissociated Press In a stern warning to the American public, COVID czar Anthony Fauci said this morning that masking, social distancing, small business shutdowns, job losses, media fearmongering, oligarch profiteering, Orwellian censorship and surveillance, and his own fifteen minutes of fame will continue forever, because the crisis will not end until at least 110% of the population is vaccinated. “Think…
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By Kevin Barrett, Veterans Today Editor As philosophy professor Sterling Harwood and I agreed during the final minutes of FFWN (watch the video and check out story links HERE) it is truly heartwarming to see the way Iran’s Supreme Leader, Imam Ali Khamenei, has fondly wished Trump a happy and carefree retirement. The Iranian rahbar tweeted an image of an…
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