Billionaire drug addict Elon Musk apologized yesterday to malignant narcissist Donald Trump, saying he “went too far” attacking Trump, and blaming ketamine addiction for his untoward tweets.
“That was the ketamine tweeting, not me, saying Trump was in the Epstein files,” Musk explained. “If it weren’t for my drug addiction, I would never say that Trump rapes little girls, brags about grabbing women’s private parts, publicly lusts for his own daughter, lies like he breathes, and generally has the manners and morals of a purple-ass baboon.”
Taking another snort of ketamine, Musk continued: “Unfortunately, due to my drug addiction, I can’t stop myself from blurting out the hideous truth about that repulsive snake-oil salesman Donald Trump, the most unqualified president not only in US history but quite possibly world history, except that some countries have prime ministers instead of or in addition to presidents, and none of those PMs have ever been quite this ridiculous either.”
After a brief digression about ketamine causing Tourette-style coprolalia, followed by another couple of snorts, the red-eyed drooling Tesla/X owner brandished his middle finger with a reflexive involuntary twitch, screaming: “F*cking d*ckhead Donald Trump can take those g*dd*mn Epstein files and shove them up his *ss! F*ck Trump!! F*ck his filthy f*ing ass to h*ll and back! Sh*t p*ss f*ck p*ssy-ass Donald f*ing Trump!”
Reached at his Underage Hooker Center in the third sub-basement beneath Mar-a-Lago, Trump shook his head sadly, denied Musk’s allegations, and urged his former friend to eschew ketamine and drink copious quantities of Diet Coke instead.
