Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu overheatedly denied his country’s involvement in the October 11 “automobile accident” that killed the three antisemitic Hamas-loving Qatari diplomats who convinced US president Trump to abandon his Israeli ally. Looking harried and unshaven while speaking with a notable tremor, Netanyahu practically broke down crying while calling social media rumors blaming Israel for the deaths “digusting” and “false.”
Pounding the table with a stifled a sob, Netanyahu practically snarled:
“Somebody has fabricated a monstrous big lie, that Israel had something to do with the rigged car crash that killed those three anti-Semites. This is insane. It is false. It is outrageous!”
Netanyahu argued that the “insane” rumors, like the accident itself, the Charlie Kirk assassination, and so on, were all Qatar’s fault.
“Qataris negotiate a lot better than they drive. Let this richly-deserved tragedy be a lesson to them: Learn to drive better, or negotiate worse, or something might happen and you might not be around to drive or negotiate any more.”
Pounding the table harder while staring evilly at the camera, the Israeli leader continued:
“I say to Qatar and all nations who harbor terrorists, you either expel them or you bring them to justice. Because if you don’t, you’d better not even think about getting into an automobile ever again.”
Perhaps coincidentally, Donald Trump has decided to cancel plans to travel by automobile from Sharm El-Sheikh International Airport to the site of today’s summit. Instead, sources say, he will be riding in a bulletproof-glass-reinforced rickshaw, pedaled by three Egyptian coolies, that is incapable of dangerous speeds and lacks computer systems that can be hacked into.
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