Dissociated Press In the wake of its raid on Mar-a-Lago, the FBI has charged former president Donald Trump with stealing nuclear secrets in order to build a LEGO H-bomb in his basement. “Trump absconded from the White House with one of America’s most closely guarded nuclear weapons secrets—namely, how to build a thousand-megaton H-bomb using simple LEGO bricks available at…
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Elders Flee for Their Lives Dissociated Press Ukrainian nursing home operators are reporting a surge in walk-offs due to elders’ fears that Zelensky’s increasingly desperate recruiting efforts will target them next. 75-year-old retiree Cadger Starets, who recently went AWOL from the Kladovyshche Nursing Home in Kiev, explained during an interview at an undisclosed location: “They’re already grabbing 50-year-olds off the…
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Larry Silverstein, Who Purchased the Guidestones Two Months Ago, Confesses to “Pulling” Them https://youtu.be/TTi37Rjf7_8 Dissociated Press A suspect has been identified in the demolition of the Georgia Guidestones: 91-year-old New York City businessman Larry Silverstein. Silverstein, in interview for the new PBS documentary “Georgia Rebuilds,” says: “I remember getting a call from the, er, State Police commander telling me they were…
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Dissociated Press A consortium of Western intelligence agencies has issued an assessment claiming that Russian President Vladimir Putin is sick, dead, or even worse. “Based on the fact that his face looks kind of puffy and he doesn’t smile as much as he didn’t used to, we assess with a high degree of confidence that Putin either has cancer, heart…
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Dissociated Press Shakespeare told us that “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” But President Biden believes names have power. That’s why he renamed his favorite White House luncheon dish “chicken Kyiv,” using the Ukrainian rather than Russian spelling of the Ukrainian capital. Then he upped the ante this afternoon, over chicken Kyiv lunch, by renaming three…
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Biden Blames Putin, Calls for Vaccines and More Aid to Ukraine Dissociated Press The Center for Disease Scares (CDS) has issued a new warning that the dreaded monkeypox—a highly contagious illness that makes monkeys of men and women—is spreading across America. At a hastily-arranged press conference in the monkey house of the National Zoo at the Smithsonian Institution in Washington,…
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Dissociated Press The Russian Ministry of Health announced Tuesday that McDonalds’ decision to leave Russia is expected to add more than four years to the average Russian’s life expectancy. Studies undertaken by the University of Moscow School of Health Issues and Troubles (UMSHIT) show that when the drunken buffoon Boris Yeltsin took over Russia after the CIA coup of 1991,…
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Dissociated Press It what can only be hailed as a glorious political romance for the ages, Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky has announced his engagement to Hunter Biden, the American President’s glamorous ne’er-do-well son. The happy couple announced on Twittstagram that they will hold an elaborate traditional wedding in the bucolic Donbass region as soon as it is cleared of Russian…
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A chakt fooker, I mean fact checker (thanks for correcting that!) recently interviewed me for what appears to be a forthcoming hit piece against Veterans Today. Melissa Goldin of NewsGuard asked me questions like: Is VT anti-Semitic? Is VT pro-Russian? Does VT vet its articles? Does it correct any misinformation they contain? And would I please supply an example of…
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Holds Off on Embryos and Gametes for Now Dissociated Press The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention updated its recommendations for the Pfizer/BioNTech Covid-19 vaccines on Wednesday to include not only children ages 0 to 5, but also fetuses from age negative seven months until birth. CDC’s Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices (ACIP) voted 13-1 earlier Wednesday in favor of…
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