The deal couldn’t get any sweeter…but Iranians, generous people, wanted to give something back.
Read MoreCategory: Satire
Earth Scheduled for Demolition to Make Way for Holocaust Museum
Dissociated Press Following President Trump’s order to release all UFO files “except any files in which my name appears in close proximity to Jeffrey Epstein’s” the Pentagon has declassified a long list of vague reports and blurry images of “spinning discs, glowing orbs and one object shaped like a potato.” Buried deep within the otherwise unremarkable document dump, however, was…
Read MoreIranian Psychiatrists Announce Progress Curing Trump’s Psychotic Delusions
Dissociated Press Following news that Iran’s government convened their top psychologists and psychiatrists to treat US president Donald Trump, the Tehran-based psychiatric team announced that Trump is “making excellent progress” and appears to be relinquishing key delusions and regaining rudimentary reality-testing. According to the Tehran-based mental health team, Trump’s recent statements indicating a remission of psychosis include: *It’s perfectly fine…
Read MoreTrump to Declare Victory, Hope Iranians Die Laughing
“A whole civilization will die laughing tonight!”
Read MoreFBI Investigating Tucker Carlson for Suspected Disloyalty to Israel
Israeli agent Laura Loomer, who has never been suspected of dual loyalties, says she is the one who turned Carlson in as an American agent.
Read MoreWorld Ending Because Trump Smuggled Red Button Into Psych Ward -Report
Dissociated Press Informed sources report that the world will be ending in a few minutes for reasons that few would have dreamed possible. Earlier today, former US President Donald J. Trump was divested of his office after Vice President J.D. Vance and a majority of Trump’s cabinet declared in writing to Congress that Trump is a narcissist lunatic suffering from…
Read MoreTrump: “Nobody Knows More About Knowing More About Everything Than I Do!”
He knows everything, except how to get the Strait of Hormuz open.
Read MorePete Hegseth Declares Victory
“Strait is open, Shah’s in charge, Iranians disarmed, oil cheap, I’m a genius” Dissociated Press
Read MoreTrump Wants Epstein to Pick Iran’s New Supreme Leader
“If Iran picks a leader who has never raped 13-year-olds in front of Mossad spy cameras, Bibi will force the US back into war in a few years,” Trump explained.
Read MoreMachado Gives Trump Her Nobel Piece-of-Sh*t Prize
“If this sh*t continues, nobody will take the Nobel Piece-of-Sh*t Prize seriously ever again!”
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