Satire – Page 10 – Kevin Barrett's Truth Jihad

Netanyahu Announces “Final Solution to Antisemitism Problem”

June 5, 2024June 5, 2024 Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press Israeli Prime Minister Benyamin Netanyahu, flanked by tag-team partners “Butcher” Ben Gvir and “Smite-’em” Smotrich, announced at a press conference this morning that the Israeli government has officially embarked on “a final solution to the anti-Semitism problem.” “The problem with anti-Semitism,” Netanyahu explained, “is that there isn’t nearly enough of it. Despite Judaism’s 3000-year history of hatred and…

Lysergic Rabbis Seek Neon Pink Heifer that Excretes Electric Pink Cowpies

May 22, 2024 Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press A psychedelic group associated with Israel’s Turd Temple movement has announced a million dollar reward for anyone who can locate “a neon pink heifer that excretes electric pink cowpies.” “We need a bobalicious bovine babe that’s just the right shade of pink through and through, inside and out” explained Schitzak Bovinovitch of Psychedelic Cowboy Rabbis for Lysergic Armageddon…

Anti-Semitism Explosion Threatens Known Universe

May 11, 2024May 22, 2024 Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press The newly released Annual Antisemitism Worldwide Report for 2023 has revealed a disturbing increase in anti-Semitism across major Western nations compared to the previous year. The Report is based on a survey in which respondents were asked to endorse four major anti-Semitic tropes. The first trope, “Jews will steal anything that isn’t nailed down,” was endorsed by a…

What Five Places Should You Not Visit When Visiting Europe?

May 6, 2024 Kevin Barrett

Quora 1) If you ever visit the catacombs of Paris, do NOT enter La caverne des rats mutants. They will strip the flesh off your bones, which will then be stacked alongside the others. (Where do you think all those bones came from?) 2) Another deadly French tourist trap is Les sables mouvants d’Olonne (the quicksands of Olonne). It looks…

Netanyahu Says Trying, Convicting, and Executing Him Would Be “An Anti-Semitic Hate Crime”

May 1, 2024May 22, 2024 Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press It would be an “unprecedented antisemitic hate crime” for the International Criminal Court to issue a warrant for his arrest, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said on Tuesday. It would be “even more anti-Semitic and hateful” if he were actually arrested, extradited, and convicted of genocide, he added. “But the most horrifically anti-Semitic act of all,” Netanyahu somberly intoned,…

Columbia University Fights Anti-Semitism with Separation Wall, IDF Checkpoints

April 26, 2024April 26, 2024 Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press In its latest effort to combat anti-Semitism, Columbia University has built a separation wall around its campus and hired Israeli Defense Forces soldiers to guard the checkpoints. Non-Jewish students and professors attempting to enter campus are strip-searched, menaced with attack dogs, and otherwise ritually humiliated. Students suspected of being Christian are spat upon in accordance with Jewish custom.…

Quora: What is the future of Jews?

April 22, 2024April 22, 2024 Kevin Barrett

Quora link Jews have a very bright future. After exterminating the Palestinians, the Jewish State will demolish the al-Aqsa Mosque and start sacrificing pink heifers in a “rebuilt” blood sacrifice temple. This will cause the Messiah to descend from the clouds to rule the earth from a throne soaked in pink heifer blood. The Messiah will lead the Jews to…

US Congress Bans Words “River” and “Sea” as Hate Speech

April 19, 2024April 19, 2024 Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press The US House of Representatives on Wednesday voted 377-44 to condemn the words “river” and “sea” as hate speech. The new bill imposes fines of up to six million dollars, and prison terms of six million years to life, for the use of the two anti-Semitic expressions. The bill includes a provision requiring that all flowing bodies of water…

BREAKING! Netanyahu Claims Iranian Missiles Raped Women and Beheaded Babies

April 14, 2024 Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has accused Iran of “weaponizing sexual violence” by using enormous, tumescent phallic-shaped missiles to “engage in the widespread and systematic rape of Israeli women.” Netanyahu claimed, without presenting evidence, that the missiles were programmed with sophisticated software enabling them to perform mass rapes with unprecedented efficiency and brutality. “The Iranian missile force has…

ADL-Backed Legislation Would Ban the Word “Genocide”

April 13, 2024April 13, 2024 Kevin Barrett

Dissociated Press Legislation banning the word “genocide” has been simultaneously introduced in the US Congress, the Canadian parliament, and dozens of states, provinces, and European countries. The flagship bill is the Countering Antisemitism Act, “the most far-reaching anti-Semitism initiative to be introduced in Congress” according to the ADL. It defines anti-Semitism as “any critical or negative statement about Jews or Israel,”…

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