Dissociated Press For only the second time in its history, Time Magazine has honored a Nazi as its favorite person of the year. Back in 1938, when people were still either male or female, Time‘s publisher, Nazi sympathizer Henry R. Luce, bestowed the magazine’s highest honor on Adolf Hitler…and scandalously and shamefully assumed “his” gender. Has history repeated itself? Not…
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Video link Qatar has lots of money, talent, stadium space, hotels, and airport runways. But it’s missing something important. It doesn’t have enough genders to host a World Cup. Can you imagine holding an athletic event in a country that only recognizes two genders? Don’t they know that “male” and “female” are passé, oppressive, and supremacist? Haven’t they heard that…
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Dissociated Press A Texas court has ordered conspiracy theorist Alex Jones to pay six million trillion dollars in damages to Holocaust survivors whose feelings were hurt by Jones’ interview with Holocaust denier David Duke. At a press conference in Austin, Jonathan Greenbutt of the Anti-Defecation League celebrated the verdict: “We believe this unprecedented ruling will send the strongest possible message:…
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Dissociated Press Environmental activists blaming Vincent Van Gogh for climate change have mutilated the famous artist’s “Self Portrait Minus Ear” by slashing off part of the canvas with a razor blade. The activists severed and removed the portion of the painting depicting the bandage that covered the part of the artist’s head where the ear used to be, saying that…
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Dissociated Press Sandy Hook parent Robbie Parker has once again raised eyebrows by reacting unexpectedly to an emotionally-charged event. Informed that a jury had awarded him $120 million, Parker collapsed on the floor, weeping pitifully, before pulling himself together, wiping away the tears, and flashing an insincere smile as he kicked off the Sandy Hook parents’ press conference celebrating their…
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Recommends Synthetic Insects Instead Dissociated Press The World Economic Forum has withdrawn its demand that people start eating bugs. Klaus Schlob, chair of the WEF’s Dietary Dystopias Committee, called a press conference in Davos yesterday to formally repudiate an earlier WEF communiqué headlined “You Will Eat Bugs and Be Happy.” That document had argued that traditional sources of protein such…
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Dissociated Press In the wake of its raid on Mar-a-Lago, the FBI has charged former president Donald Trump with stealing nuclear secrets in order to build a LEGO H-bomb in his basement. “Trump absconded from the White House with one of America’s most closely guarded nuclear weapons secrets—namely, how to build a thousand-megaton H-bomb using simple LEGO bricks available at…
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Elders Flee for Their Lives Dissociated Press Ukrainian nursing home operators are reporting a surge in walk-offs due to elders’ fears that Zelensky’s increasingly desperate recruiting efforts will target them next. 75-year-old retiree Cadger Starets, who recently went AWOL from the Kladovyshche Nursing Home in Kiev, explained during an interview at an undisclosed location: “They’re already grabbing 50-year-olds off the…
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Larry Silverstein, Who Purchased the Guidestones Two Months Ago, Confesses to “Pulling” Them https://youtu.be/TTi37Rjf7_8 Dissociated Press A suspect has been identified in the demolition of the Georgia Guidestones: 91-year-old New York City businessman Larry Silverstein. Silverstein, in interview for the new PBS documentary “Georgia Rebuilds,” says: “I remember getting a call from the, er, State Police commander telling me they were…
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Dissociated Press A consortium of Western intelligence agencies has issued an assessment claiming that Russian President Vladimir Putin is sick, dead, or even worse. “Based on the fact that his face looks kind of puffy and he doesn’t smile as much as he didn’t used to, we assess with a high degree of confidence that Putin either has cancer, heart…
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