Dissociated Press In a riveting performance before the US Senate gallery this morning, Jeffrey Epstein’s lawyer Alan Dershowitz mounted a spirited defense of his new client, Donald J. Trump. Flourishing a badly stained and noticeably noisome pair of men’s Fruit-of-the-Loom underwear at the astonished senators, Dershowitz boldly intoned: “THESE are the only briefs I need to convince you to to…
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Dissociated Press Acting under orders from Clown Prince Muhammad Bin Salman, a delegation of senior Saudi clerics has traveled to Auschwitz, Poland and officially converted to Holocaustianity. The conversion ceremony featured the clerics kneeling down before a statue of Anne Frank and solemnly uttering the testimony of faith: “There is no god but the Holocaust, and six million Jews died…
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Dissociated Press In the wake of the US Virgin Islands’ decision to confiscate Jeffrey Epstein’s islands, Jared Kushner’s “Deal of the Century” Mideast peace plan has changed. Anonymous White Horse souses say the new plan involves moving “Israel” from Occupied Palestine to the Caribbean. Epstein’s two islands, Great St. James and Little St. James, will be renamed “New Judea” and “New…
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Dissociated Press Riyadh, Saudi Arabia Clown Prince Mr. Bone Saw (MBS) has unveiled a series of reforms designed to placate critics of Saudi Arabia’s human rights record. Speaking at yesterday’s press conference at the Monte Carlo Casino in Monaco, MBS vowed to bring “fun fun fun” to the medieval Wahhabi kingdom by allowing condemned dissidents to enjoy Western-style cinema, gambling,…
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Dissociated Press In the wake of President Trump’s executive order banning criticism of Israel and making “Jewish” a nationality, the White House announced yesterday that Trump will go one step further and claim “King of Israel” nationality and “Second Coming of God” status, effectively exempting himself from criticism. Trump, who annointed himself King of Israel and Second Coming of God…
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Dissociated Press In the wake of President Trump’s executive order banning criticism of Israel on college campuses, the ADL has unveiled a plan to send violators to re-education camps—and Trump just tweeted his approval. The plan calls for the US Army Corps of Engineers to repurpose dozens of derelict strip malls, Wal-Marts, military bases, and sewage treatment facilities as re-education…
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Ft. Lauderdale, FL Dissociated Press President Donald J. Trump, in a speech to The Organization of Eminent Jewish-American Magnates (TOEJAM), shocked his audience yesterday by vowing to “finish the job Hitler started.” “A lot of you are in the real estate business, because I know you very well. You’re brutal killers, not nice people at all,” Trump said. “That’s why,…
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I Pimped the Children by “The Epsteins” I pimped the children But I didn’t commit suicide I pimped the children But I surely didn’t kill myself All around in my home town They were trying to track my clients down Now they say they want me to plead guilty To the killing of yours truly To the crime of…
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Veterans Today strives to represent diversity in all its forms: Race, color, creed, tribal affiliation, political orientation, sexual identity, I.Q., sanity, you name it, we feature writers from all ends of the spectrum. We are especially committed to combatting the scourge of anti-Semitism. That’s why we were overjoyed, nay, ecstatic, to receive this guest editorial submission from a man who,…
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https://youtu.be/KMu8Z_-02ak Watch the latest FFWN above, click HERE for links to the stories we discussed. By Kevin Barrett, Veterans Today Editor This week’s winner of the Larry Silverstein Award for Chutzpah Above and Beyond the Call of Duty is…a tie between Ghislaine “In & Out Burger” Maxwell and Donald “I Am the Chosen One” Trump. Both Maxwell and Trump are…
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