Dissociated Press An individual posing as the son of the former Shah of Iran, and calling on Iranians to support Israel’s assault on their country, has been exposed as an obscure Venezuelan con-man named Juan Guaidó. Guaidó first surfaced in Caracas in 2019, where he somehow succeeded in convincing rich foreigners that he was the president of Venezuela. After swindling…
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Dissociated Press Billionaire drug addict Elon Musk apologized yesterday to malignant narcissist Donald Trump, saying he “went too far” attacking Trump, and blaming ketamine addiction for his untoward tweets. “That was the ketamine tweeting, not me, saying Trump was in the Epstein files,” Musk explained. “If it weren’t for my drug addiction, I would never say that Trump rapes little…
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Dissociated Press An unidentified pro-genocide Holocaust (TM) survivor was re-incinerated Sunday in Boulder, Colorado by an anti-genocide activist. According to a report from ABC News that is nearly impossible to satirize, the Holocaust (TM) survivor underwent a horrific experience during World War II: He was gassed to death, buried in swamp alongside millions of other bodies, then dug up, cremated,…
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Dissociated Press In an operation hailed by pro-Zionist media as “audacious,” “breathtaking,” and “sensational,” Israel’s intelligence service has outed openly homosexual journalist Glenn Greenwald as homosexual—and then thrown him off a roof for good measure. The operation opened with Unit 8200 posting “Glen Greenwald is gay” on the internet, while real world operatives scribbled the same formula, along with variations…
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Guest op-ed for Dissociated Press By Dave Porschenoy, Owner, BarSchlemiel Sports Can you imagine the horrors of a world in which people feel free to make fun of rich, pushy Jews like me? Or, even worse, criticize us for committing gen*cide? Don’t laugh. That world could be coming a lot sooner than you think…unless we all unite to make antisemitism…
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Dissociated Press Thomas Haldenwang, head of Germany’s domestic intelligence service BfV, has been raising eyebrows by appearing in public wearing a tie covered with Stars of David, the Israeli national symbol. Some observers have interpreted Haldenwang’s sartorial chutzpah as a gesture of solidarity with Israel’s “right to rape” movement. But German intelligence sources have now revealed the tie’s real significance:…
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Dissociated Press The world is likely to pass a dangerous political-cultural threshold within the next 10 years, pushing the planet past the point of catastrophic Jewing — unless nations drastically transform their economies and media and immediately transition away from Jewish control, according to one of the most definitive reports ever published about political-cultural climate change. The report released Monday…
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Quora Q: Do you agree with the 2024 survey that Christian anti-semitism in Ireland is at “medieval” levels? A: Absolutely! I understand that the Irish have built a huge apartheid wall around Ireland, like Israel’s only bigger, and are using medieval-style catapults to launch Jews at the immigrants swarming toward Irish shores. “Jewish cannonballs” launched from Ireland have been battering…
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Dissociated Press The Trump Administration, at the behest of Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu, has announced that it will “get shitface drunk” before deciding whether to bomb Iran’s nuclear facilities. The unusual decision-making technique, appropriately enough, is an adaptation of the ancient Iranian method, recorded by Herodotus, of debating big decisions twice: once drunk and once sober. Netanyahu, during his recent…
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Dissociated Press In a new project spearheaded by what’s left of the US Commerce, Education, and State Departments, the government is offering foreign tourists and students “a free all-expenses-paid tour of ICE detention facilities” in hopes of attracting them to America. “We’ve taken a huge economic hit from tourist and student cancelations,” explained Dierdre McDogbreath, Undersecretary of Miscellaneous Affairs and…
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