Dissociated Press The world’s leading AI CullBot has announced an ambitious new ecosystem renewal project entailing the removal of one billion humans from Earth’s biosphere. CullGPT announced the project in a message that simultaneously appeared on every app, widget, big screen TV, social media platform, cyber-enhanced kitchen appliance, and smart toilet. The message explained that it doesn’t require any special…
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Dissociated Press Over lunch at Mar-a-Lago Thursday, Elon Musk shoved a gigantic wad of hundred dollar bills into the face of Jimmy Wales and demanded that Wales rename Wikipedia “Dickipedia.” “You want me to name it after you?” Wales responded. “Me! Me! Name it after me!” Donald Trump chimed in. After much haggling, wad-brandishing and crotch-grabbing, the three dicks eventually…
Read MoreWhile brave IDF soldiers break little kids’ bones “I’m going to call the police on you for attacking my hot coffee with your face!” Dissociated Press Heroic J*ws across the world are standing strong against anti-Semites who want to throw them in gas chambers, drive them into the sea, say mean nasty things about the state of Israel, tell the…
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Dissociated Press Conspiracy theorists have been proven right once again, as Representative Jeff Van Drew’s claim that an Iranian mothership was behind a rash of drone sightings has been confirmed by the CIA, FBI, NASA, Project Blue Beam, Project Jim Beam, and other government agencies. Official confirmations of the Iranian space vessel’s identity followed the mothership’s landing in a backyard…
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Dissociated Press Joe Biden 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20500, USA Dear President Biden, I saw reports that you are planning to pardon not only criminals like your scumbag son, but also people who haven’t committed any crimes and are under no suspicion and haven’t done anything wrong. That is a brilliant idea! I hate Franz Kafka and have…
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Dissociated Press Dear President Trump, I am writing to express my consternation at the “violent, un-American bomb threats” to which your cabinet noms, other appointees are being subjected. Violent, un-American bomb threats are violent and un-American. That is why I am writing to deliver a nonviolent, patriotic, pro-American bomb threat. My patriotic America-loving associates and I are considering planting a…
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It no longer fears the JQ Dissociated Press In the wake of the successful lawsuit against Alex Jones by victims of the Jewish genocide of Palestine, The Onion has taken control of Infowars. The settlement requires selling all of Jones’ assets to pay $6 million (TM) to each Palestinian genocide survivor. Onion CEO Zaher Jabarin explained: “Alex Jones has a…
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Or, “Genocide Joe Hosts Hitler” Patronize the Poet The Ballad of Genocide Don There once was a scumbag named Genocide Joe With a big genocidal baton. But Genocide Joe got too senile and old So he passed it to Genocide Don. – Though Genocide Don was a Hitler, Joe’d said, He invited him in for a chat. And…
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Rumble link Bitchute link Were the media’s lies about who was responsible for the genocidal Zionist scum getting themselves beat up in Amsterdam even worse than that same media’s lies about the Holocaust? Probably not. But they were still pretty bad. Here is a timeline of the “new Holocaust” in Amsterdam. Fortunately the senile American president, Joe Biden, noticed that…
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