“The president is outraged that the Nobel Committee slighted him in favor of María Corina Machado…”
Read MoreTrump Prepares to Invade Norway, Seize Nobel Peace Prize
Category: Satire
Ye Sacrifices Foreskin to Appease Wrath of Yahweh
Though this is at least the third time Ye has blubbered pathetic apologies for his antisemitism, it is the first and only time he has offered his foreskin to Yahweh…
Read MoreSchlemiels Denounce Rising Antischlemitism
Dissociated Press The Association of Schlemetic Schlemiels has announced the formation of a new Antischlemitism Initiative tasked with clumsily and ineptly attempting to hold back the ineluctably rising tide of antischlemitism. At a botched press conference, ASS president Schlomo Schlemielstein accidentally knocked over the podium, which landed squarely on Schlomit Schlimazel’s foot. As Schimazel loudly denounced Schlemielstein and schlemiels in…
Read MoreChristians Flock to Israel for Spit Baptisms
“Immersion in Jewish spit washes Christians clean and removes the sin of antisemitism.”
Read MoreNetanyahu Denies Killing Three Qatari Diplomats in Rigged Car Crash
Netanyahu argued that the “insane” rumors, like the accident itself, the Charlie Kirk assassination, and so on, were all Qatar’s fault.
Read MoreTrump touts DedBeds, calls them “ultimate health breakthrough”
Dissociated Press Yesterday on Truth Social, the president of the United States shared a video purporting to be a segment on Fox News in which an A.I.-generated, deep-faked version of himself sat in the White House and promised that “every American will soon receive their own DedBed card” that will grant them access to new “DedBed mortuaries.” “DedBeds are the…
Read MoreHegseth Assembles US Generals, Admirals to Be Raptured Next Tuesday
The Pentagon has been drafting new regulations clarifying whether officers who fail the Army Physical Fitness Test are still eligible for rapture.
Read MoreTrump Pardons Jews Who Killed Kirk, Christ
Dissociated Press Drawing on his now-unlimited presidential powers, President Donald J. Trump has issued unconditional pardons to “the Jews who killed Charlie Kirk and Jesus Christ.” “For Jews, killing anyone they want is a religious duty,” Trump explained as he lifted his beloved golden pager to his ear to make sure it wasn’t ticking. “The First Amendment guarantees freedom of…
Read MoreNetanyahu’s 28th “I Did NOT Kill Charlie Kirk” Video Finally Convinces Somebody
Rumble link Bitchute link Dissociated Press After 27 failed attempts to convince somebody—anybody—that he didn’t kill Charlie Kirk, Benjamin Netanyahu’s 28th video denial has finally gotten some traction. “My Starlink service came back on after my grandson in Oslo paid my bill, so I went online and saw Netanyahu say he didn’t kill someone named Charlie Kirk,” explained Torkil Jaanitsk…
Read MoreCharlie Kirk’s Resurrection Scheduled for Next Sunday
“After singlehandedly solving his own assassination to the satisfaction of everybody, Kirk 2.0 will be annointed Messiah…”
Read More