Dissociated Press An Israeli spokesperson has admitted that the Israeli strike on the aid ship Conscience in international waters off Malta was intended to kill the “antisemitic Hamas-adjacent” climate activist Greta Thunberg. At this morning’s IDF press conference, the excitable Sharren Haskel, Israeli Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs, explained that Thunberg was an even worse antisemite than anyone had realized.…
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Dissociated Press The world is likely to pass a dangerous political-cultural threshold within the next 10 years, pushing the planet past the point of catastrophic Jewing — unless nations drastically transform their economies and media and immediately transition away from Jewish control, according to one of the most definitive reports ever published about political-cultural climate change. The report released Monday…
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Quora Q: Do you agree with the 2024 survey that Christian anti-semitism in Ireland is at “medieval” levels? A: Absolutely! I understand that the Irish have built a huge apartheid wall around Ireland, like Israel’s only bigger, and are using medieval-style catapults to launch Jews at the immigrants swarming toward Irish shores. “Jewish cannonballs” launched from Ireland have been battering…
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Dissociated Press The Trump Administration, at the behest of Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu, has announced that it will “get shitface drunk” before deciding whether to bomb Iran’s nuclear facilities. The unusual decision-making technique, appropriately enough, is an adaptation of the ancient Iranian method, recorded by Herodotus, of debating big decisions twice: once drunk and once sober. Netanyahu, during his recent…
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Dissociated Press In a new project spearheaded by what’s left of the US Commerce, Education, and State Departments, the government is offering foreign tourists and students “a free all-expenses-paid tour of ICE detention facilities” in hopes of attracting them to America. “We’ve taken a huge economic hit from tourist and student cancelations,” explained Dierdre McDogbreath, Undersecretary of Miscellaneous Affairs and…
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Dissociated Press President Donald Trump has ordered Harvard University to increase its current 1000% overrepresentation of Jewish students to “at least a million gazillion percent” or lose nine billion dollars in federal funds. “We must fight antisemitism at Harvard by ensuring that Jews become even more grossly overrepresented than they already are,” Trump announced in a joint press conference with…
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Rabbi Schmuckly Slaughterstein of the Anti-Anti-Antidefamation League (AAADL) testified at Congressional Anti-Anti-Antisemitism hearings, saying that it isn’t enough to be against antisemitism, but that everyone needs to go even further and oppose anti-anti-antisemitism.
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Antisemitism Czar and Health and Human Services Director Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. has announced a series of steep, sharp cuts in the HHS workforce.
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Dissociated Press Calling antisemitism a “deadly and virulent pestilence” that is “comparable to history’s most deadly plagues“, Health and Human Services chief Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has declared a public health emergency and announced a “warp speed rollout” of mRNA vaccines. “Antisemitism is worse than bubonic plague, leprosy, anthrax, botulism, and chicken pox all rolled into one,” Kennedy announced at this…
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Dissociated Press US President Donald Trump announced plans to have sex with the wives of several key world leaders in hopes of gaining bargaining leverage over those countries and screwing them out of land, resources, and, above all, money. Trump has been quoted as saying that sex with other men’s wives is “what makes life worth living,” since it gives…
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